The National Park Service turns 100 years old in 2016, and dirtbags nationwide are finding creative ways to commemorate the NPS Centennial. (My favorite so far is the Dirtbag Diaries’ Milepost series.) I, on the other hand, lack artistic sensibilities, and am thus marking the occasion in the same way I celebrate everything else: by eating. Without further ado, then, I present the next installment in this series about things I’ve eaten in national parks—or, in this case, things I hope to someday eat undisturbed in a particular national park.

There are a lot of great things about river trips, but there’s a clear standout: more. You can bring a whole cooler full of shit if you want—cold beer, fresh produce, things that would otherwise perish or melt. On the river, you can eat like a king.

There’s something special about that—about cooking steaks over an open fire, about having a cold beer, not a lukewarm one—when you’re in the remotest backcountry. No cell service, no way out of the canyon but to float, maybe for several days: senses are heightened. Things just taste better.

I don’t eat a steak every day because less is more. It wouldn’t be a treat, then, and also methane gas slowly stripping away the ozone layer and it’s super-duper-bad for the planet and all that. All things in moderation.

You know what’s not in moderation? The idea of a gondola in the Grand Canyon.

That’s a bad idea. This issue is pretty black and white, as far as I’m concerned.

We just finished celebrating the National Park Service’s 100th birthday, and it would be pretty lame to post a bunch of snazzy Insta-Face #photos and then forget about America’s Best Idea three days later when it’s being threatened.

With that in mind, I urge/beg/implore/strongly suggest that you visit the American Rivers website and sign their petition to keep developers from desecrating the Big Ditch.