Questions I asked myself as I sat down in my home office this morning

Is today Tuesday?

Wait, it’s Wednesday already?

How many days until November 3, 2020?

What’s the weather supposed to be like?

Is that really all the coffee he left me?

Alright, what do I need to get done today?

Didn’t I already answer this email?

Should I make an omelette?

Do we have any eggs?

How do we not have any eggs?

Where’s my grocery list?

Should I get bangs?

Okay, so when is the deadline for this?

Wait, can that be right?

Why is it so dark in here?

Is that why I’m so tired?

Is Mercury in retrograde?

What time was my call again?

Wow, is it really 9:00 already?

Where are my headphones?

What’s this guy’s number?

Any chance he won’t pick up and I’ll get to just leave a—

Shit, where are my notes for this call?

Can I make this take less than 45 minutes?

Okay but if I get bangs, will I just want to grow them out immediately?

How can I wrap this up?

Should I take a break to process all this info before I really dig in?

What’s the latest from the White House?

What is wrong with these people?

Why did I think it was a good idea to read the news?

What if they were, like, side-swept bangs?

Is it weird if I eat lunch at 10:30?

Can I salvage this day?

Why bother, when we’ll be at war with North Korea by Christmas?

Should I renew my passport?

When does my passport expire?

Would the bangs always just be all flat and matted, though?

Any possibility of finishing this in time to catch Ellen?

Did the mail come yet?

What times does the mail usually come?

Okay, is this good enough to send in?

What time is it?

How did that take me all day?

Hi, honey, what do you think about bangs?

Did you know we’re out of eggs?


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